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One of my favorite characters in Age of Conan or any MMOPRG, the Tortage Town Crier. This fellow proclaims the most dastardly lies, half-truths, and threats with endearing gusto. A credit to press secretaries and political lackeys everywhere.
NEW! Tortage Ministry Of Tourism Brochure! Click to Download
Click to hear the proclamation:
Town Crier: Admiral Strom issues this decree! All members of the Resistance will be granted mercy if they surrender! Quick deaths! Your families will be spared!
Town Crier: All appeals to see relatives taken for questioning must be made to a ranking member of the Red Hand!
Town Crier: All captains wishing to pass through the blockade must meet with Lord Admiral Strom and Slavemaster Ulrich for their signed permits!
Town Crier: All symbols of the Red Brotherhood, former rulers of Scarlet Tortage, are to be destroyed! Lord Strom has spoken!
Town Crier: Be at peace, people of great Tortage! The screams heard in the city last night were naught but a pack of wild apes within the walls! They were silenced by the noble Red Hand, forever serving you!
Town Crier: Blessed news! The heavens smile upon Lord Admiral Strom and his loyal Red Hand! Another Resistance member has confessed information under questioning! The end of the rebellion is nigh!
Town Crier: Citizens of Tortage! It is a crime to shelter the Resistance! It is a crime to meet with the Resistance! It is a crime to know a Resistance member without reporting him! All crimes are punishable by death!
Town Crier: Come forward to the Red Hand, if you suspect your neighbors of treachery against the Admiral!
Town Crier: Glad tidings once more! The courageous Red Hand battled the Picts this very morning, and fought to keep great Tortage free!
Town Crier: Glad tidings! While the city slept last night, three more traitors lost their lives to the noble blades of the Red Hand!
Town Crier: Hear this proclamation! Twenty-six lives lost to Pictish blades only last week! Witness the dangers of leaving the city!
Town Crier: The following warning is to be given to all within the city walls! Any who sell their souls to the black rebellion seeking the Lord Admiral's downfall are to be sentenced to death by impaling!
Town Crier: Lord Strom and Slavemaster Ulrich make this decree! It is now declared illegal to set foot upon White Sands Isle! The leaders of the city wish to protect you all from the island's dangers!
Town Crier: Lord Strom regrets the raising of taxes once more! Coin is needed to clear the wreckage of another traitorous vessel that sought to run the blockade!
Town Crier: Lord Strom requires the services of a skilled carpenter! Wooden stakes must be fashioned for the coming executions! He will pay handsomely!
Town Crier: Lord Strom speaks! Taxes are raised once more on account of the Resistance! Fresh blades and armour are required by the noble Red Hand!
Town Crier: Pictish attacks increase in number each week! Stay within the city walls! It's safer here!
Town Crier: Serve the city! Join the Red Hand!
Town Crier: Slavemaster Ulrich sends this message! Those of you with debts too high to pay may be free of the burden by selling yourselves into slavery! All debts will be considered cleared!
Town Crier: Slavemaster Ulrich shares his concern with you all! Escaped slaves carry disease and must be reported to the Red Hand!
Town Crier: The Lord Admiral sends this message to his people! Never fear! The rebels who put this great city at risk will be crushed by the turn of the month!
Tired of the daily grind, the same old, same old virtual faces? Lord Strom's newly established Ministry of Tourism beckons. Vacation for FREE in beautiful, sunny Tortage! By day, stroll palm-lined beaches, swim and bathe in crystal-pure waters, scale the local volcanic mountains -- some still active! Dance and drink away the night, rubbing shoulders with traders, pirates, smugglers and other colorful, friendly folk in two -- count 'em -- two authentic tropical bars. Daily eco-tours of the virtually untouched White Sand Isles, with a chance to discover the primitive charm of its native tribes. Charter galleys leaving daily. Sign up now! You have nothing to lose but your chains!
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As a True Blood fan, I cannot think a bit of virtual nudity out of bounds. As I invite you to see, Tzuzeku long ago bared all, dancing in the Treasury of the Ancients. So, here, Yennifer with the lovely, trussed up Casilda...whose Whore's Blood will later come in quite handy.
Casilda gives Yennifer the eye, after providing requested vial of "Whore's Blood" to substitute surreptitiously for "Virgin's Blood" atop the local volcano. Apparently, the Tortage Volcano God is quite picky and can tell the difference.
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No, if these are now the standards, my avatars don't feel out of place naked here at all.
]]>Sisters of the Forsaken: A Harem Guild of Age of Conan, formerly of Bane, now on Cimmeria - RP-PvP
Sisters, We Are All Forsaken!
Resolve to follow the most difficult,
narrow paths of peace in lands at war.Respect strangers.
Honor the superior.
Seduce the hostile.
Serve the Sisterhood.Slaughter without mercy all who prey upon the weak!
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Video Notes: This captured entirely in the infamously buggy Treasury of the Ancients in Khopsef Province, where Tzuzeku found herself dancing fearlessly with the deadly "boss" of the Treasury, the Archaic Queen Statue, and her mysteriously conjured evil twin.
The Black Arts of the Necromancer by which Tzuzeku subdued the otherwise lethal Archaic Queen Statue of Treasury of the Ancients, summoned forth her evil twin, and induced the awesome pair to dance in her presence remain secrets Madam Tzuzeku will take to her grave.
June 15, 2008
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The Landroval brood is settling in. Raulito recently purchased 3 Brookbank Street in Tormo’s Hop. Tanzan (Darkyn) has also moved into the neighborhood at 2 Pleasant Street. Hope to meet some of our neighbors, one day. Here, we immigrants from Firefoot are simply “The White Rose.”
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hello
Was intending a bit of LOTRO this evening
Likely have level 10 present for your littlest one. I’d like to say, “If she moves her virtual butt a bit to get there,” well, let’s say, “like, real soon.” It’s on the market stiffly priced now for just this evening — 4 hours — and then there’s a “window” in which I’d be happy to give it away to a good head because I’ve strewn my every characters’ every path with so many veins to probe for gold that I hardly know what to do with myself moment to moment.
But you know “my game” by now, no doubt. I play for maximum activity (24/7) achievable through maximum income commensurate with advancing every character, together, more or less jump by jump, in thoroughly decadent crafted, gifted, and any other form of marketable gear, weapons and accessories.
It’s what always leads me, all things being equal, to new games and new servers…..new puzzles. That’s the child in me. Loved puzzles. Loved models and modeling (add “l” in vain attempt at distance from hardly hidden clothes-horsing).
But I’m a bit older than that now. I’ve other in-world interests to explore. Things for which I’d stop. Or at least move differently. ]]>
No, just the shocking sight of an actual Hobbit actually taking a casual swim in the Baranduin (Brandywine) River. Just imagine! Why would she do that? And for pleasure. What’s wrong with that Margarita?
Indeed, few Hobbits had ever seen or sailed upon the Sea, and fewer still had ever returned to report it. Most Hobbits regarded even rivers and small boats with deep misgivings, and not many of them could swim. (”Prologue,” The Lord of the Rings)
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Going on now. The band is on the stage.
The Announcement: Landroval: Hearts & Tarts Event
More later…
]]> Aw…over now. Will get around to more images from the event later this evening or early tomorrow.
When in doubt, first, flatter the hosts.
Then flatter the guests.
Yes, that’s me, the photographer, Beansidhe, standing on the right edge.
Beansidhe is my newly appointed Ambassadress to Landroval.
Can’t really afford much to play here, but ready to swell the numbers at interesting events.
Say hey if you see her.
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Hello from Beannighe
When I fantasize about improvements to LOTRO, I imagine a more contemporary character creator/editor with far greater modeling control over one’s avatar’s face and body than was typical when LOTRO was launched.
Nevertheless, LOTRO’s avatars have an interesting range of expressive animation, more subtle than gross in movement, which makes it possible, with patience and persistence, to capture some surprising glimpses of unexpected personality peering back at you through the wireframe.
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Going where the climate suits my clothes…
Beannighe was running through Middle Earth and suddenly the scene reminded me, brought memories of many a Northern California coastal hike, long, long … oh no! three and a half decades ago!
Someone else with blurry memories of back then.
Forget all that nonsense about Swords & Sorcery. The Lord of the Rings, with due deference to what actually fills most of its pages, is really the ultimate hiking and camping novel. With The Hobbit a close second in the same curious genre.
Going down the road feeling bad
Going down the road feeling bad
Going down the road feeling bad, hey hey hey, yeah
Don’t wanna be treated this a way
Belitil stops to survey the skies from Weathertop.
This morning it was raining outside my window, later raining in Michel Delving, and right now it looks like more rain from atop Weathertop.
Nice view though. Nice to pause and breathe that cold, crisp rainy weather air. Too soon, time to ride down into more of the mud and the blood and the killing that just seem to go on and on forever.
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Captain Chaitra in her Temper-Crafted Elven Armor.
I’ve always been a great believer in spoiling my avatars, fighting in the lap of luxury every step of the way, even if it means leveling slowly, and working the crafts and auction halls to raise that all-necessary gold.
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Whose are those hoof beats in the night? The steeds of strangers out upon the road. Elves! Elves! The Elven folk are moving. Everywhere, across the world. Shutter the windows, close the door. Huddle close to wonder. What strange times we’ll see! As these beats come their preamble.
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A recent on-site review has confirmed the danger.
Thorin Hall Advisory #D45F00
The growing consensus among workers and builders and experts of every sort, excepting Dwarven, of course, as expressed to most every Elven Council that has heard evidence on this matter, has it that Thorin Hall is not likely to prove structurally sound under, really, pretty much any major earthquake model.
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